about post-its.

I don't have time, so I steal it. I wish I had three, four hours for myself. I really wish I could sleep. Sometimes I think about getting my head checked, but then I don't have time for that either.

I steal the minutes between a library lock down, 4 hours of study, until I can't think of different ways to calculate enthalpy and entropy anymore, until the number scramble in front of my eyes, and a packed lecture for an oncoming test.

I'm thinking maybe I need glasses, maybe my vision is not perfect anymore. Too much time reading, to much time in front of a screen. I wore glasses for a couple of months when I was 11 or 12. They gave me terrible headaches.

I don't have time for myself, so I steal it. I use the scraps of time between one busy our and the other to read. The only time I can use to read is inside the bus, or before I sleep. But every second I use to read, is a second less of sleep. I can't afford to lose sleep. I was such a good sleeper before. I would wake up 4 or 5 times a night, check if my wallet was inside my bag, if my phone was charged, if my alarm clock was properly set, if the door was lock, if my car was still in the parking lot.

Everything is always in order. I never forget, I never fail. But still, I wake up to check. Maybe, if I didn't woke up to check I would forgot.

I steal the scraps of time to not be lonely. I call my loves. I call my family, my dear friends, my lover. They warm my hart like the hot summer breeze. Like winning a well deserved prize. I coming home. But I'm not at home. I should go home, I think. But I can't.

I steal time to cry. Sometimes I cry while I work, just so I don't lose time with tears.

Sometimes I think I really should get my head checked. But I don't want to be drugged and I don't want to talk to people that I don't trust.

I know I'm not sick. I'm just homesick and stressed and lonely and tired and hopeless.

My time is up. I have to run yet to another class.

I want to write lovely, funny, nice, encouraging notes in post-it blocks and spread the love, the hope and the laughter wherever I go. Maybe if I have the illusion I'm making strangers love, hope and laugh I will be able to smile some more, to rest some more, to sleep a lot more.