what a perfectly asinine question...

what a perfectly asinine question...

the noises of the world

quiet, silent, I tried to calm my mind. I organized my papers, I opened a book, I sipped on my cup of tee and tried to calm my spirit.

In one of those moments I supported my face with my left hand and my ear became perfectly aligned my watch. I heard the subtle tic tac of its mechanism working. I heard the wisps of sounds made by my own heart and I thought about life and the frivolity of life, and the ephemerality of life.

time never stops, but my watch will and my heart will

the photography

I look at us in that photography. We look so perfectly happy, so indescribably happy. You can see it in our smiles, in our shining, loving eyes.

I feel so miserable now. I still love you and I feel it in my heart that you still love me, but I haven’t been happy like we were in quite a while. You used to be my flame, you used to be the reason why I woke up every day with a smile in my lips and a warmness in my chest.

I just lost it. I just lost the hope of being together.

Back then, when we took that picture, I though I knew when we would be together. We had a plan. We were far away from our goal, but I could still see it if I forced my eyes. Now, it’s lost from sight. Now, I really don’t know when we are going to have our happy beginning, the beginning of our life together. I feel I am in a ship, drifting in an ocean of pain and loneliness, and I can see no coast. Back when I could see it, I could ignore, get past the ocean of pain, I could concentrate on getting to shore. Now, I just don’t know how long it’s going to take for me to be happy again. It is hard. It is so hard.

Sonnet 1

At night I toss and turn insomniac

I lie in bed, I cannot close my eyes.

I know who is to fault, it’s Cupid’s arch,

He throws me arrows but sweet sleep denies.

For eons long my lover lay with me

And in his arms I slept in dreams of bliss.

Now he is gone. Apart we have to be

And I must not forsake his precious kiss.

Research, you genius of this world, go find

Some magic calculation. I suggest

a Teleporting ray or else resigned

I must remain, alone in my unrest.

For I must say, to sleep alone is dread.

Come back to me, my love. Let’s go to bed.

the nature of betrayal

trust is all I have. all I have is trust.

I trust that the robber in the streets will put a gun to my head and not pull the trigger. If I thought he would pull the trigger, I wouldn't give him my wallet, my phone, my car.

I trust nobody wants to kill. The robber bluffs with his gun, but the robbed always pretends to be deceived. The risk of calling the bluff is too great.

I trust the robber is not stupid. I trust the robber is afraid to rot in jail as much as I am afraid to die. He might be crazy, though. He might be a blood thirsty psychopath that just wants to pull the trigger and blow my head, spreading the contents of my skulls in the windshield. What do you do then? Where is the trust when the person next to you doesn't adhere to the same logic as you? Then, and only then, mayhem happens.


I trust I am loved back by those who I love.

I trust they trust me and they trust I trust them. That's the nature of our deal. But if the people I love don't trust me back, then I am betrayed of my trust and of my trustworthiness.