I look at us in that photography. We look so perfectly
happy, so indescribably happy. You can see it in our smiles, in our shining,
loving eyes.
I feel so miserable now. I still love you and I feel it in
my heart that you still love me, but I haven’t been happy like we were in quite
a while. You used to be my flame, you used to be the reason why I woke up every
day with a smile in my lips and a warmness in my chest.
I just lost it. I just lost the hope of being together.
Back then, when we took that picture, I though I knew when
we would be together. We had a plan. We were far away from our goal, but I
could still see it if I forced my eyes. Now, it’s lost from sight. Now, I
really don’t know when we are going to have our happy beginning, the beginning
of our life together. I feel I am in a ship, drifting in an ocean of pain and
loneliness, and I can see no coast. Back when I could see it, I could ignore,
get past the ocean of pain, I could concentrate on getting to shore. Now, I
just don’t know how long it’s going to take for me to be happy again. It is
hard. It is so hard.
Às vezes eu me sinto culpado por não poder fazer muito, por saber que tudo o que eu faço já é até um pouco além dos meus limites, mas no final do dia eu realmente fico contente em poder escutar sua voz antes de dormir, e em saber que você está seguindo adiante e se divertindo com o curso. Eu adoro lhe esperar do lado de fora das suas aulas e tentar desenhar as estátuas. Eu gosto de ler Beckett enquanto você está na aula de Inglês. Você tem um namorado completamente apaixonado por você, sabia? :)
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